How to Cope with Change

When life throws you a curveball, how good are you at coping with the resulting changes? 

 

Brian often remarks that our family doesn’t do change. 

The truth is, not many of us love change, especially when the change is unwanted and/or unexpected.  Unfortunately, our permission is not required for life events to occur that drastically alter our life’s path. 

Therefore, our best defense is an offense.  

 

There are some steps you can take to help you be proactive in learning to cope with change. 

 

Acknowledge the change

 

It sounds over simplistic to say, “acknowledge the change”. 

Acknowledging the change is the first step in accepting what’s happening.  A mental shift occurs when you state the facts. 

There is no hiding, no denying that this thing is happening.  Stating it can help you to mentally begin preparing to make the adjustment.  

 

Give yourself time to adjust to the new normal

 

Both happy and sad changes bring new and unfamiliar routines.  It will take some time to develop and adjust to new routines and habits that work.  

Parents who suddenly found themselves both working and teaching from home for an extended period of time found themselves in uncharted territory. 

For our oldest daughter, it took a while to figure out what worked for her family.  She adjusted so well that she is exploring homeschooling.  But the adjustment took time.  It did not happen overnight. 

 

It’s ok to be sad

 

Changes, especially changes we didn’t want, often make us long for the way it used to be. 

Give yourself permission to be sad.  You may be sad for a long while.  That’s ok.  You can still be working through the process and feel a little sad about what you are leaving behind.

Over two years ago my long -time employer declared bankruptcy and ceased existence.  I am still sad when I drive by the building.  However, my life has went on in new and unexpected ways and for that I am thankful.

 

Don’t give in to fear

 

If you read my post, In Place of Panic, you know that there have been panic inducing moments during these last few months.  Change puts us on a totally different path than the one we had planned.  No longer do we confidently know what lies ahead.  Instead, we tend to use our imagination.  And what do we see?  Scary stuff.  Often our fears are imaginary.   When your imagination takes you down a path that leaves you almost hyperventilating, stop the imagination train.  Deal with reality. You can send yourself into a panic attack just by allowing your imagination free rein. 

 

Reach out to others

 

For me, the worst part of the pandemic has been the isolation.  We have phones, we have video chats.  Reach out.  Tell someone that you trust how you are really feeling.  Be honest.  Sometimes, just voicing your concerns helps you to cope with the situation.

 

Consider seeking out a professional

Sometimes you really do need to seek professional help.  If you need help moving forward, it might be wise to work with a professional.

 

Look for the positives

 

Often, the most difficult situations end up having some positive effects.  Make a habit to look for them.  We tend to find the thing for which we are actively looking.

 

Daily, find something for which to be thankful

 

Being thankful is a trait I am intentionally trying to develop in my own life. 

It is so easy to slip into the mindset of looking so hard at the bad that you forget to look at the good.  Find something specific about which to be thankful.  It’s easy to say, “I have so many blessings”, but I am talking about specific.  “Today I am thankful to find toilet paper!”  You might be surprised how much better you feel just by focusing on something for which you can be thankful.

 

Establish new routines

 

Did I mention our family doesn’t do change?  Would you like to know how that’s worked for us during this pandemic?  It hasn’t.  I clung to my shopping routine until the day I got to Walmart and there was at least a forty- minute wait just to get in the store.  That day, I made the decision to change my entire shopping routine.  Has it been a challenge?  Yep.  Will it be worth it in the long run?  Definitely. 

Coping with change can be hard. Managing change can seem insurmountable.   However, as always, by focusing on the little things you can do and little steps that you can take, you can more easily navigate the changes that life is certain to bring.  

 

Disclaimer:  I am not a professional.  These are simply some little ideas and solutions that I have learned that have helped me.  If you are feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to manage, please seek the help of a professional.

 

updated 06/02/2023

 

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