Is focusing on what needs to be better keeping you from missing out on the joy of here and now?
My sister and I were enjoying an event when she randomly commented on how much she liked my hair.
While I appreciated the compliment, I had just recently had an epiphany about the state of my hair.
For my entire adult life, I have chased the perfect haircut, which remained a dangling carrot just out of reach.
Although I admit to having good hair days, I was never exactly satisfied with my hair, always thinking it could be just a little bit better.
One day, looking in the mirror, I realized that I had wasted a ridiculous amount of time, money and energy chasing an illusion.
From that day forward, I decided, no matter what, to intentionally accept my current hair situation.
Every day, I fix my hair to the best of my ability and call it good enough.
Accepting reality and letting go of an illusion of perfect hair was a freeing shift of focus.
So much so, that I began thinking of it as my hair principle and looking for other areas of my life to which it could apply.
Learning to accept the current situation frees you to enjoy what you have without needing to continually chase an elusive better situation.
How can you learn to intentionally accept the current situation?
First, state the obvious.
It really is what it is and stating the obvious reality is the first step in accepting the current situation.
Refrain from reframing it or restating it in a way that you wish or want it to be.
This is the reality of my hair, my house, my marriage or my job and, at least for the moment, I must accept that.
Examine your expectations.
If your expectations are unrealistic or unachievable, let them go.
While having high expectations is a good thing, setting unrealistic or unachievable expectations is breeding ground for frustration and disappointment.
Realize that perfection is an illusion.
Perfect haircuts exist for a minute and are captured for eternity on the pages of magazines and websites.
Yet we perpetually try to duplicate the look without the benefit of the professional resources available to models.
Whether it’s your hair or your home, quit struggling to meet some pie in the sky level of perfection.
Switch your focus from what is wrong to what is right.
There’s an old hymn called Count Your Blessings.
When you’re tempted to bemoan all that’s wrong, change your focus to all that’s right.
You will be surprised at how focusing on what’s right restores your joy and peace of mind.
Acknowledge that there’s something on which you want to work.
It’s ok to desire something better.
Acknowledge what the better might look like and the steps you can take to make that happen.
Just don’t let the possibility of a future, better situation rob you of enjoying the good that’s in the now.
Learning to accept the current situation takes practice.
The automatic response is almost always what needs to be a little better.
It takes intentional practicing to stop and accept the current situation as it really is and not what you want it to be.
If focusing on what needs to be better is stealing your joy from the here and now, decide to begin learning to accept the reality of the current situation.
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