Are You Feeling Drained (part 2)

Recently, I wrote a post titled, Are You Feeling Drained, in which I outlined some questions that are worth asking if you are feeling mentally and physically drained. 

If you missed it, read it here.

When I started that post, my intention was to tackle both day to day responsibilities and outside commitments. 

After beginning, I quickly realized that the subject was better dealt with in two separate posts.

In this post, Are You Feeling Drained, part 2, my goal is to tackle our response to activities other than the usual day-to-day stuff.

If you read the first post, you will recall that after returning home from an unexpected, extended time away, I realized that I was rested both mentally and physically.  That realization caused me to evaluate why I was so often feeling drained. 

In turn, that  led me to question all of the little responsibilities that I had allowed to creep into my life.

After evaluating my daily / family responsibilities, I turned to the commitments I tend to make in addition to my family and home activities. 

Unbelievably, this process proved to be a lot more difficult.  There was a lot of mental wrestling involved. 

Unlike the original post, which had a series of questions, I could only come up with one primary question that applied.

Do I want to do this?

And guess what?  Applying that question is a lot more complicated than I imagined.

First the most valid question:

Do I want to do this because it is something that I really want to do?

Then the rest:

Do I want to do this because no one else will?

Do I want to do this because I feel guilty not doing it?

Do I want to do this because someone else expects me to?

Need I say more?

All too often we say yes, not because we really want to, but because of either external pressure or internal guilt. 

Even if the answer is yes, we really want to, there is a part b to that question.

Do I have time?

Have you ever thought about your time in terms of money?

We all start a new day with 24 hours.

How we spend it is up to us.

Every commitment to which the answer is  “yes”, there is an automatic “no” to something else.

Isn’t that an amazing thought?

Begin the day with 24 hours.   Subtract 8 for sleeping.  That leaves 16 hours.

 Subtract 9 more hours if you have to work outside the home on the day in question.  (I am including some travel time).  That leaves 7 hours. 

In those 7 precious hours, meals have to be prepared, kids have to be transported to events, homework has to be completed, bills have to be paid, laundry has to be done.  And on and on and on.

And.  There has to be some time, somewhere, for self-care. 

Committing to even one meeting a month is going to be a deduction of some of those precious hours. 

Committing to several different activities could bankrupt a day before you even get to it.

While we wouldn’t allow anyone free access to spend our money, we frequently allow others to spend our time.

Have you ever really asked yourself, “what is important to me”?

My answer would be:  relationships.  I place a high value on my family and close friends.

Doing things for them and with them is an extremely high priority.

So, by saying yes to being the treasurer of my church, that is an automatic “no” to time with or for any one of them.

However, the work of the church and the relationships with the people who attend, are also important to me.  So, for now, I will continue to say “yes” to that commitment. 

However, if I would have decided that, “no”, that work is no longer of high importance to me, it would have been time to bid that job farewell. 

It really is a brutal process. 

There are so many things in which I really do want to participate.  There are good organizations to join and excellent causes that could use my attention. 

There are fun activities in which it would be nice to participate.

However, going forward, when asked to spend my time, I will pause and ask myself, “do I really want to do this?”.

The answer will be yes only if, the thing to which I am going to say yes brings more value to my life than the thing to which I will be saying “no”.

Because if I truly value my family and friends, (and myself), then the best gift that I can give them is someone who is mentally and physically available.

And as always…

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