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Have you ever made a request of someone only to be left wondering, “what the heck?” when you see the results?
Just recently, I offered to pay an individual a lump sum to clean a rental home and make it “rent-ready”. Two hours later, with minimal cleaning accomplished, the job was pronounced complete. Making my expectations clear was a complete fail.
My motto is, when you screw up, since you can’t undo it, at least learn from it!.
Learning to clearly communicate expectations can help to avoid a lot of conflict and misunderstanding.
First and foremost, ensure that both parties are both giving and receiving attention to the current conversation.
My focus was definitely not on the conversation when I was talking to the person who had agreed to help me. I needed the job done yesterday and I was in a rush to move on to the next item on my lengthy to-do list.
Take the time to be in the moment and focus on what you are trying to say instead of thinking ahead to what you need to do next.
Avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings by replacing vague statements with specific instructions.
Many of the instructions we issue or requests we make are crystal clear in our own mind. However, the person to whom we are speaking hears only what we actually say, they do not have the ability to discern intent.
If you are having difficulty getting the results you desire, examine how you are phrasing your requests.
“Clean your room” will not have the identical meaning to any two individuals, especially an adult and a child.
However, it would be difficult to misunderstand the statement “pick up your dirty clothes”.
Learn to take an extra minute and ensure you are phrasing the request in a way that does not allow for misinterpretation.
Use written lists to ensure expectations are completely clear.
Almost anyone can remember a list of one, two, or maybe three instructions. When more expectations are involved, take the time to make a list.
Written lists make expectations clear as well as provide a concrete way of measuring progress.
When our kids were young, on Saturday mornings, they each received a list of chores they were expected to complete.
The list let them know what was expected, provided a visual reference of progress and left no doubt as to if and when the chores were finished.
Creating a list is one of those things where the end result is worth the investment of extra time.
Learning to clearly communicate expectations is not a skill that comes naturally and there may be many fails before getting it right.
However, by making minor adjustments in the way requests are made and instructions given, the results will more often meet our expectations.
Three little, easy to incorporate ideas, that could make a big difference in learning to clearly communicate expectations.
Have you gotten your copy of Little Ideas for a Cleanish House?
It’s included with your welcome edition of
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(it’s a little thing that means a lot to me!)