Read time: Approximately 3 minutes
Have you ever made a mistake that continues to haunt you?
At some point, everyone wishes they had a rewind button so they could go back and right a wrong.
Mentally dealing with past mistakes can be draining and difficult.
There is a healthy alternative to dealing with past mistakes, both large and little.
Many years ago, after much waiting and contemplating, I purchased a new quilt for our bedroom. It hadn’t been on our bed but for what felt like a nano-second when, for some unknown reason, I allowed our then puppy on the bed.
As I blithely went about cleaning the room and ignoring the puppy, he happily set about chewing a hole in my brand-new quilt.
Upon discovering the hole, I could have (and may have) cried. Replacing the quilt was not an option so patching the hole was the only alternative.
That incident was many years ago.
This past week-end as I made our bed, I looked for the patched area of the quilt.
After this many years, I instinctively know that the patched area goes on the upper left-hand corner of the bed. The hole, which at one time was so devastating, has become a guide to quickly and accurately putting the quilt on the bed.
After tossing the last pillow on the bed, it occurred to me that there was a valuable life lesson in the patched quilt.
Instead of dwelling on the negative consequences and longing for a redo, a healthy alternative to a past mistake is to allow the mistake to act as a guide.
When I make the bed, I no longer dwell on the fact that there is a patched area on the quilt. The patched area simply acts as a guide.
In the same manner, when looking back at a past mistake, instead of dwelling on the negative consequences, the hard lesson learned can function as a guide.
Did I ever put the puppy back on the bed untended?
No. I really didn’t want another hole in the quilt. The quilt incident had become a guide to future actions.
Think of the mistakes that you have made.
Instead of viewing a mistake from the perspective of what was lost, reframe the experience and view it from the perspective of what was learned.
It may seem an over-simplistic solution, but here is the truth: no matter how much you wish you could; you can’t change a past action.
So why not benefit from the wisdom that was gained?
Patch what you can, make amends if you are able and learn whatever valuable lesson that can be gained from the experience.
No one wants to make mistakes. Everyone does. Some bigger than others.
I would never suggest that making a mistake is a blessing. However, the wisdom that comes from it certainly can be.
It’s easy to know what we would do differently if given the opportunity. Use that knowledge to guide actions in the future.
Who knows, a past mistake could keep you from making a bigger mistake in the future.
So, when dealing with past mistakes, instead of wallowing in regret, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and pat yourself on the back for the lesson you learned.
Allow the mistake to guide future actions.
If you are able to do that you have learned a valuable alternative to dealing with past mistakes.
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Great story and analogy.
Mistakes can’t be taught only learned from. I think that is what makes us so crazy with our kids. If only they would take the wisdom we have learned from our past experiences to avoid their own mistakes . Life is messy but there is always a way to change our direction and focus. Good story!
Thank you! Wouldn’t it be great if our kids could learn from our mistakes? Unfortunately, that isn’t how it works. We had to learn and they will too. We just have to be there to pick up the pieces and love them anyway. Just like our parents did us!