Have you ever wondered if it was ok to text a thank you note instead of sending a traditional handwritten thank you card?
This past weekend, a month after my birthday party, I found myself asking that very question. After the party, I had great intentions of sending hand-written thank-you notes. A month out, I wallowed in guilt on a daily basis over the still unwritten cards.
On Saturday morning, I woke up to the sweetest text from a friend thanking me for a condolence gift I had sent just a few days previously. I enjoyed receiving, reading and responding to the kind text.
Later in the day, with phone in hand, and in the spirit of something is better than nothing, I sent out texts thanking my friends and family for the gifts that I had received.
Without fail, the texts were answered, acknowledging my thanks, and commenting on the party.
According to the rules of etiquette, I still wasn’t sure if it was ok to text a thank you note, but it was a win for me.
The next day, still wondering how badly I had breached etiquette, I decided to search and find out.
According to the rules of etiquette, although thank you texts are appropriate for some things, typically, a handwritten note is still the golden rule.
Even though I disregarded traditional etiquette, I was ok with my decision. The purpose of a thank you note was fulfilled, just not in the traditionally accepted format.
After receiving yet another thank you text, this one from my niece, I have given some careful thought to when I would personally be comfortable sending a thank you text.
Here are some things to consider if you want to send a thank you text in place of a card.
Before you text, know the giver
If there is someone from whom you received a gift, that you think would prefer a formal thank you card, send the card.
I can’t say for sure that no one rolled their eyes at my texts, but like my daughter said, they were close friends and family. They will either understand or forgive me.
Consider the event
Was the event informal?
Most invitations that I receive at this point are Evites or social media messages.
If an Evite is an acceptable invitation, it stands to reason that a thank you card delivered in the same manner is acceptable as well.
A formal thank you card is probably best for more formal occasions.
Know yourself
Even if you have the best of intentions, will you really send a card? If not, send the text.
Better to break a rule of etiquette than express no thanks at all.
A text usually provides confirmation that the note of thanks was received
No so, the mail.
You assume the thank you note was received. There is no way to know for certain.
Many years ago, I spent an enormous amount of time and money on what I considered an extra special gift. I received no acknowledgement of the gift whatsoever.
Any thanks at all would have been appreciated.
Was a thank you card mailed? I have no idea, but I certainly am never going to ask.
Texts provide an option to acknowledge the thanks, thus confirming the fact that the note of thanks was actually received.
There’s an app for that
Just like there are invitation apps, there are apps to design and send thank you notes via text or e-mail.
(If I had known that before I sent my text, I could have classed it up a bit!)
If there’s an app for that, sending thank you notes by text must be gaining momentum.
Note: In looking for apps, I discovered there are apps that will allow you to design and write formal thank you notes. Printing and mailing are taken care of through the app.
Will the thank you note be one that someone may want to keep?
There are times when the thank you is for something extra special, and the receiver of the note may want to hang on to a physical card. (ex. A thank you to a long-ago teacher who had an impact on your life.)
In those instances, take the time to send a card.
Is there only one way to say thank you?
What is the purpose of a formal thank you card?
Is it to meet the expectations of an etiquette expert or to express gratitude?
If the purpose is to express gratitude, does one way imply more gratitude than another?
Thank you is thank you, no matter the manner in which it is delivered.
Whether or not to send a thank you text is going to be a personal decision based on individual circumstances.
Christmas is coming. And there will be a lot of gifts coming and going.
To me, the important thing is to teach and practice gratitude. The platform of expression is secondary.
Is it ok to send a thank you text instead of a handwritten thank you note?
Expressing gratitude is always ok, no matter how you choose to express it, and in my humble opinion, that includes texts.
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I’m with you -Gratitude expressed is never a bad idea . 💕