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Have you ever planned to give the perfect birthday gift, complete with the perfect card only to have the special day come and go and in reality, you did …..nothing?
Just recently, I did exactly that. My wonderful daughter in law’s birthday came and went and the reality is, despite my good intentions, from us, she received only a text.
Our standard gift for our adult kids is typically money.
But this year, I wanted to do a little something extra. I planned to add a small birthday bag of goodies and hand deliver it on her special day.
My uncle has a great saying; “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
And that is exactly what my daughter-in-law received for her birthday, good intentions.
And even though I still had good intentions following the missed day, for every week that went by, I added guilt to my mental clutter.
Finally, one morning, with coffee in hand, I invoked the mantra that I often repeat to my kids, “something is better than nothing”.
I opened my lap top, went to PayPal, sent her money followed by a text that read:
“Please check your PayPal account. You will find a belated birthday gift from us. We love you! Do something nice for yourself!”
And because she is so wonderful, she texted back; “ Aww, thank you so much! I’m gonna put that toward seeds, potting soil and other greenhouse stuff!”
Something imperfect that she could actually use was definitely better than something perfect that occurred only in my mind.
This incident caused me to reflect on all of the things on which I procrastinate, because I don’t have the time to do them perfectly.
Cards and meals not sent to grieving friends because, ultimately, I didn’t have time to make the perfect meal.
Thank you notes not sent because I didn’t take the time to purchase a formal thank you note and get it in the mail.
The list goes on and on.
The “perfect syndrome” is problematic even in my home.
The refrigerator remains unclean because I lack the time to clean it “right”.
After the birthday incident, I made the decision to be more intentional in embracing the “something is better than nothing” mentality.
Last night, I threw all the old food out of my refrigerator, without deep cleaning it. I followed that with a thank you text to my wonderful niece who recently organized a meal train for our family.
Could I have done better? Always!
Was it likely that I would make the opportunity? History says no.
So now my refrigerator is empty of anything green and my niece knows how very much I appreciate her thoughtfulness. Mission accomplished, good enough!
If your to do list is overflowing and the guilt is overwhelming, ask yourself where you can apply the “something is better than nothing” mindset.
Then apply it and allow yourself the pleasure of moving on, knowing that at least you did something.
You will have the satisfaction of accomplishment and your loved ones won’t be left wondering why their birthday was forgotten!
Something is almost always better than nothing!
Related reading: How to Simplify Gift Giving
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I do the same thing…plan on doing something really nice and do nothing and then feel guilt. As for thank you cards, I no longer buy thank you, birthday, anniversary cards etc. I buy blank note cards with a pretty design. That way I always have a card handy and can jot a quick note about whatever the occasion is. This has helped me be better at sending messages for special occasions.
I love that idea. I am learning to keep things easy and convenient. Having blank notecards on hand would definitely fit that category.
Thanks for the great idea.